Turn on the lights

11 Nov

Now revealing my newest project: Turn On The Lights!

I have realized (long after everyone else knew this about me) that I have a major passion: healthy relationships and sex lives.

I believe that every human being has the inalienable right to feel safe, secure, and fulfilled in his/her/hir romantic relationships.

But I also know we don’t pop out of the womb understanding how to connect with others, how to talk about sex and STDs with our partners (still important in adulthood!), and how to effectively communicate our feelings and desires. We have to work on our skills and learn how to communicate and discuss our needs in a way that commands respect ā€” like when to give slack, and when to cut ties and move on.

When communication is lacking in a relationship – because of fear, ignorance, embarrassment, or any number of other reasons – everything else suffers, from general happiness to physical health (and maybe especially, sexual health) to mental health. It’s hard to feel good about yourself and your body if you feel like your partner doesn’t appreciate you, right? So what can you do to change your relationship dynamics to be positive and healthy?

I have always been insatiably curious about other people’s sex lives. From the time I was a kid (maybe eight years old or so), I was in the library looking at books about sex. Those books may have told me how to unroll a condom or pick a bra that fits, but they didn’t tell me how to talk to my partner or what makes a healthy sexual relationship. They told me to “just say no” to unprotected sex (like it was a drug!), but they didn’t talk about the emotional and mental ramifications of a sexual relationship. They told me to be abstinent without talking about the passion and desire of a sexual encounter (even one without intercourse).

It’s time for adult sex education.

You know the facts. You’ve been having sex, some of you longer than I’ve been alive. This isn’t that kind of sex ed.

This is the NEW sex education — learning how to have fulfilling sex lives and communicate with your partner(s) effectively and sensitively.

You’ve read lots of things on my personal blog (that’s this one) from business advice to feminist ideas. Now, it’s transforming once again to the new sex education. (I’ll still be posting about my personal life from time to time, but the focus will be on this new project!)

I’ll be posting (and holding workshops!) about:

  • Communication techniques for arguing, negotiating, investigating, and more
  • Sex-positivity – what it is, what it means
  • Current events that relate to your relationships and sex life
  • Ethical sex lives – making your relationships environmental sustainable and socially responsible
  • How modern society affects your self-esteem and expectations
  • Online dating, and how that’s changed how we connect – and how to get better at it
  • and more!

(If you have an idea for something you want me to cover, shoot me an email!)

Sex and relationships are such an odd subject in our society. On one hand, magazines like Cosmo and GQ advertise ways to tantalize on every cover — but they don’t talk about WHY you’re bored and WHAT you can do (besides bring ice cubes and silk scarves to bed). We get a basic education in high school (if you’re lucky enough to have gone to one of the 25% of high schools that does sex ed) but who talks about it with someone who isn’t just encouraging abstinence (a teacher) and blushing at the thought of discussing the subject (most parents)?

We do it in the dark, figuratively and literally.

It’s time to turn on the lights and have a candid conversation.

Visit my new website, www.TurnOnTheLightsWithAndiEnns.com, and read more about what this project is all about. If you want to book me to speak at your event or to your group, please contact me here. Feedback on my blog and website is appreciated, if you have thoughts on making it better! šŸ™‚

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One Response to “Turn on the lights”

  1. Angie Fiedler Sutton December 19, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    Interesting idea, Andi. Hope there’s a bit of the Dan Savage about you – but still keeping it you. Looking forward to seeing more.

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