Wow, everyone. My post from yesterday, 77 reasons we still need feminism, is officially my most popular blog post of all time, less than 24 hours after posting it. Thank you so much.
I worked on that post for nearly a month before I posted it. I came up with more than 77 reasons, but I pared it down to that symbolic number. I was nervous to publish it, because it’s raw – “feminism” is still considered a dirty word, and feminist concerns are so often dismissed. But I heard from so many of you afterward about your own experiences; the post really seemed to strike a chord with the men and women who read it.
That’s why I want to expand the post. I want to include more information for aspiring feminists and put more faces on feminism. I’ve decided to create a free e-book – a beautifully designed piece of multimedia to be shared and to unify. A piece of work to let other feminists know they aren’t alone. Something for non-feminists to read, to blow away misconceptions about what feminism is. Share this image on social media to spread the word!
I need your help.
If you consider yourself to be a feminist and want to be a part of this e-book, you can help out. Go to my post and pick a number (or a few!) you feel especially passionate about. (Or make up your own reason, if I don’t have the right one.)
I’ll compile the stories into an e-book and post it here on my blog when it’s finished. I’m not looking to make any money from this, so it will be free to download and contain no advertisements.
Please share this project with anyone who might be interested, for the best collection possible!
Lately, I’ve been asked more and more why I’m a feminist. “Do we even need feminism anymore?” they ask.
They think feminism is about becoming better than men. They think feminists are angry at men for their privilege (and sometimes that’s true). They allege it’s time for a men’s rights movement to counteract feminism, since some feminist measures have appeared to succeed in leveling the playing field. In some cases, women are appearing to fare better than men – for example, 25 percent more women graduate from college than men. Some people think this means feminism has worked, and is now just hurting America.
However:
And although women as a group have made substantial gains in wages, educational attainment, and prestige over the past three decades, the economists Justin Wolfers and Betsey Stevenson have shown that women are less happy today than their predecessors were in 1972, both in absolute terms and relative to men.
- Ann Marie Slaughter, former director of policy planning for the U.S. State Dept., Why Women Still Can’t Have It All (The Atlantic)
As if that isn’t enough, here are 77 reasons to be a feminist (one for each cent a woman makes for doing the amount of work that a man gets a dollar for):
Lists like these are still necessary.
Men make almost half a million more in 40 years of working than a woman – if they saved it up, it’s enough to feed their family for 37 additional years.
Some workplaces – including in Kansas City - require women to wear heels, which cause long term health problems. There is not an equivalent for men. (It’s easy to say “So then don’t work there,” but not everyone has the luxury to choose.)
Mothers are less likely to be hired than fathers. Mothers are seen as a risk – she might take days off for the kids – while fathers are seen to be hard-working family men.
We’re still held to “lady like” standards at home and work – no such standard is a barrier for men. It’s funny when men fart, but disgusting when women do it. It’s ok when men swear, but on women it’s uncouth.
I don’t want my little sister to be treated like I’ve been treated in the workplace.
“You’re emotional” is a way to undermine women’s passionate opinions, even when passion is seen as a benefit in men.
We are not an interest group.
Girls are still told “It means he likes you” when boys hit them. Violence is touted as flattery.
Men get courtesies like “sir,” women are called “sweetie” in the same situations. (I’ve been called “doll”, “sweetheart,” “hun,” and “babe” in job interviews with men – I doubt they would use the same names for male interviewees.)
Women who keep their maiden name after the wedding have to justify it for the rest of their life. Men aren’t asked to change their identity just because they get married.
“Miss,” “Ms.,” and “Mrs.” define women by their marriage status. Men just use “Mr.” their whole life.
Men openly comment on a woman’s sexual appetite or ability based on her appearance. For example, my teenage sister’s friend has a tongue piercing, and constantly fields questions from men about her oral sex ability.
Strangers tell women to smile.
“Slut” and “whore” are still insults, because it’s shameful to be a sexual woman.
As the only woman in a meeting, you’re expected to be the secretary.
People think a woman dating a successful man must be a gold digger looking for someone to take care of her.
I’m tired of being afraid to walk alone at night. I don’t want my sister to be afraid, either.
Women are expected to give up everything for her husband’s careers or be deemed selfish. However, a woman who accepts her husband’s help in her career are seen as weak and incapable.
Talk shows and magazines instruct women on how to turn keys into a weapon while in parking lots. My status as a female should not mean I need to arm myself.
Laws dictate when women can opt for sterilization, because an adult woman is not seen as a capable to make her own decision. (In Missouri, women must be 26. Other states go as old as 35.) Men can be sterilized at age 18. Some states require a married woman to get her husband’s permission first, too, but married men are not required to get his wife’s permission.
Saying “I don’t want kids” is met with “You’ll change your mind, when you meet the right man.” Men who don’t want kids are accepted.
Women are expected to tidy communal spaces at work and school after men leave the room.
After spending a lot in a boutique, the cashier offers to throw away the receipts so “your boyfriend/husband won’t know how much you spent.”
People demand to know what last name you’ll give your nonexistent future child if you possibly decide not to change your name after your hypothetical future wedding.
No one should be stereotyped because of their body. Including men.
Being assertive doesn’t make me “ballsy,” since assertiveness doesn’t come from testicles.
Men (yes, even young men) still complain that women in the workplace “make the office no fun” because they can’t make sexist, racist or explicit jokes anymore because women complain. Damn right I will, because it’s more fun for me to work someplace where I feel safe.
“Feminism” is apparently a dirty word.
Even women can be chauvinists, and don’t realize how they hurting themselves and everyone in their lives.
The term “career woman” is still in usage, even though no one says “career man”.
Sports shouldn’t be a “man’s world”: on the field, in the stands, or as a journalist.
Despite being against the law, women are still asked in job interviews if they plan on having children, and then negatively judged for their answer either way.
Wearing a skirt at the grocery store (on my way home from work), men comment, “Thank God you’re dressed like a real woman, not like all these career women around.” Sorry, bud, I am a career woman. I’m dressed this way for work.
Birth control is seen as optional, but Viagra isn’t.
Most movies fail the Bechdel Test, where the only requirement is for at least two named female characters talk to each other once about anything other than sex and relationships.
Since I wear bows and high heels, people are surprised I’m a feminist.
Voicing these complaints is met with accusations of whining, defensiveness, or indifference.
Brandon Sheffield, a video game industry professional, boiled down the “Are women in games overly sexualized?” arguments into one simple equation: Sex vs Power.
Sure, no one looks like that guy – but his appearance is about power, not sex appeal like Lara Croft’s appearance.
It’s not that male characters in games don’t have exaggerated features that make them more visually appealing – it’s that their exaggerations make them look appear powerful instead of a sexual object.
You want to be as cool and powerful as Kratos. Nobody wants to be Lara Croft all the time.
Players want to be Marcus Fenix from Gears of War. The camera doesn’t play seductively over his biceps. He’s a leader. He doesn’t need your protection or your pity, because he is a wall of man.
But players don’t want to be Lara Croft. Not even female players, because Croft is meant to be looked at. When you look at another person, you have the power – you’re doing the action and they are receiving it. Even female characters in games exist to give a feeling of power to male players.
As producer Ron Rosenberg told Kotaku, “When people play Lara, they don’t really project themselves into the character, they’re more like, ‘I want to protect her.’ There’s this sort of dynamic of, ‘I’m going to this adventure with her and trying to protect her.’”
Why don’t people project themselves onto Lara? Because “people” means males. Nobody (well, almost nobody) wants to be Lara Croft, not even women, because Lara is very much the subject of Male Gaze in her games, and who wants to open themselves up to that sort of scrutiny? Getting a bit deeper, while many women do want to be attractive to males, which is part of why women’s magazines often take a Male Gaze perspective as well, they don’t want to be only that. They don’t want to be stared at all the time, by everyone. Lara is at no point “just a person.”
Miss Representation’s stat card from a campaign against extreme Photoshopping.
Welcome to summer. It’s time for your “bikini body” to be unveiled, so you can be sure to catch the eye of a surfer hunk to have a summer fling with. It’s just a casual relationship (but why won’t he commit?), which we can have because we are Independent Women (who rely on bikinis and lipstick to be noticed) with Careers (but why can’t we get promoted?) and Lots of Friends (who might be frenemies).
Along with all of these convoluted dramas invented by women’s magazines, readers are made to feel insecure by the very images in the spreads. Women who are probably anorexic to begin with sit around in painful-looking poses and then are Photoshopped even smaller.
I’ve been known to fall prey to these magazines too. Let’s face it: Women’s magazines are fun. It seems like reading about hair and boys is a good way to pass the time on a plane or in the dentist waiting room.
In reality, women’s magazines just make readers anxious. In a world where women already are trying to do everything required of men and more, they don’t need a magazine telling them they aren’t doing enough and aren’t attractive enough.
This is a sample of what a photo goes through before you see it in a magazine. The designers changed 12 aspects about this girl, but didn’t change her arms, legs, neck, or hips – and those would all likely be altered in a real magazine. See the changes yourself: http://demo.fb.se/e/girlpower/retouch/retouch/index.html
With all of these images, it can be hard to remember that real women don’t look like the airbrushed models. The images inside your favorite women’s glossy have been retouched for 20+ hours each, and even those women don’t look like that.
One of my favorite online tools is My Body Gallery. On MBG, you can look up photos of women by body type, height and weight. With this tool, I discovered I thought women of my body shape and height were most attractive at 165 pounds. It’s a stunning realization.
Forget Dove ads – these are real women.
How have you combated media images of bodies to find your own happiness?
A new series of ads from the Finland HIV/AIDS Council is completely counterproductive. As you can see in their ad (below), there is a Facebook check-in symbol and the text: “Bill Johnson and 19 others were here.”
Advertising Agency: McCann Worldgroup, Helsinki, Finland
While it is true that having more partners statistically increases your probability of catching a sexually transmitted infection, it’s also true that it only takes ONE act with ONE person. Basically, having unprotected sex is a Russian roulette – you might not ever get an STI, or it might happen the first time.
Keeping this in mind, the ad’s use of a “shocking” number (considering only 9 percent of middle-aged adults report having 10 or more partners in their life, according to the Kinsey Institute, and most report have around five) not only is insulting to people with a large amount of safe encounters, but it’s also creating a false idea about who gets HIV/AIDS, or any other STI.
In short: If you have lots of partners, you’re probably diseased. If you don’t, you’re fine.
I think they are trying to say you should know your partner’s history. Which you should, to a point – you should know if your partner has a clean bill of sexual health before you engage with them. However, you are not entitled to information unrelated to that. If they have had an STI check since their last partner, and it came back clean (or they’ve taken care of any infections and been re-tested to be sure), that’s all they owe you.
I’m tired of seeing health campaigns that make people feel disgusting for having an STI. Most of them are taken care of just as easily as strep throat, and no one judges you for strep throat. The societal stigma against those with STIs is one of the chief factors preventing young people from getting tested, according to the Center for Disease Control. Instead of knowing they’re healthy, young people are afraid to find out.
It also leads young people to believe that if they aren’t promiscuous, they’re in no danger. This is absolutely not true, as many STIs have no symptoms (at least in men) and can be passed along very easily. For example, syphilis, chlamydia and HPV are often symptom-less in contagious men. This means sexually active people should be getting tested even when they aren’t exhibiting any symptoms.
Fighting the STI and HIV/AIDS epidemic is very complicated. Ad agencies should be aware of the social image they are creating, and of the factors affecting the issue they’re promoting. I truly believe advertising has the potential to be a tool for good – but only if they realize the consequences of their messages are real.
“But I’m a feminist, so….” is a common refrain for me, after I’ve wrapped up a rant about political and social issues I care about. It’s always been something I said to soften the blow of my opinions – I give the listener an easy way to write off what I said.
What if I stopped saying “But I’m a feminist, so….”? What if I stopped apologizing for my beliefs about women’s issues, and stood solid in the knowledge that there’s no such thing as women’s issues, there are just issues? Is sexual assault a women’s issue? Or equal pay? Or a culture that encourages people to loath their own bodies if they can’t measure up to airbrushed perfection?
No, those are societal issues. If sexual assault is a women’s issue, then that discredits male survivors and any good man who would never assault someone. If equal pay is a women’s issue, what about equal pay for everyone who isn’t a tan trim white male (even overweight people, who make nearly $20,000 less than their skinny counterparts)? Even the myths of beauty, which made commentators on the aforementioned “overweight=less pay” story wonder if that news would encourage ladies to diet. These myths damage men’s self esteem too (not every man looks like Brad Pitt – but women still find them attractive, whether or not they feel worthy of that), and make it harder to get a compliment through to someone (“no, I’m not beautiful, because I don’t look like airbrushed Megan Fox”).
Even once those issues are squarely wrapped up for me, there’s still a self-examination left to do about apologizing. Saying that I’m sorry for how I feel, or inviting someone to discredit my beliefs because they’re uncomfortable or unconventional – goes against everything I stand for. Every time I say it, I’m doing a disservice to the women I admire, like Gloria Steinem, Susan B. Anthony, Sojourner Truth, and so many others. If they could stand up against society and say that they believed we should all be treated equally under law and under culture, then I have no excuse to be bashful in Kansas City in 2011.
From PinUp Clinic, a feminist group that creates pin up calendars to raise money for women's clinics - because what better way to take sexy back than to celebrate the female form?
If I stand steady in being a feminist, then I’m part of something much bigger than myself. I’ll stand in solidarity with other women who believe it’s ok to wear high heels if we want to, and shouldn’t have to fear being sexually harassed for it. Women who believe it’s ok to be sensual and sexy, and that doesn’t mean we’re any less entitled to be treated equally. And women who believe being a feminist might be more aptly titled being a people-ist, because women’s issues shouldn’t be draped in pink and set in the corner like they don’t matter.
I’m going to stop saying “But I’m a feminist, so…”. I am a feminist. Maybe you disagree with my ideas, and that’s ok. You don’t have to apologize, either.
Rihanna’s new music video, “Man Down”, chronicles a girl’s struggle to make her world right again after being sexually assaulted. Her way to make it right (in her mind, at least) is to shoot her rapist – something I think every rape survivor has thought (fantasized?) about doing.
The video is being criticized for promoting violence, not encouraging girls to go for legal help, and for being sexist (because a man would never be able to make a video about shooting a woman – except that’s not actually true; read on).
Attacking the video for being violent misses the point. The world is violent, and asking a pop star to refrain from talking about uncomfortable topics doesn’t make them go away.
Rihanna’s character was struggling with anger, shame, depression, and all the other confusing feelings that follow being assaulted. Instead of accusing Rihanna of being needlessly violent, why don’t we examine the world that would allow this to happen to someone?
There’s a phrase in a lot of feminist literature, “rape culture”. This basically means a society where glamorizing assault is ok and even encouraged. A culture where girls are raised to appreciate men who “need” them so badly than they’ll rip the very buttons off her shirt, where he’ll sneak into her room to watch her sleep because he misses her, where he’ll fight (with fists) other men for her affections. This isn’t healthy.
Instead of criticizing a society that romanticizes acting like that, some parental groups say Rihanna shouldn’t have talked about it. And rumor has it that Rihanna is considering re-shooting the video to cut out the violence (both the shooting and the rape).
Some are going on to say that her behavior is sexist, because a man never gets away with violence towards women in their music. I would like to take a moment to reflect on: Love The Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna (where Eminem’s character kills Rihanna’s character when she tries to leave him), and about a zillion other songs.
There seems to be a trend with parental watchdog groups to try and suppress books, music, and movies that bring up topics they don’t want to talk to their kids about. (For example, And Tango Makes Three, a children’s book about gay penguins who adopt a chick, topping the banned books list every year - because, as one critic said, how are they supposed to explain homosexuality to their kids?)
As NPR pointed out this morning, banning teens from reading about or listening to dark topics – like violence, rape, drug use, self-loathing, or any of the other popular themes in teen media – doesn’t keep them from knowing about them or even experiencing them. One in three women is raped in her lifetime – and a third of those are raped more than once before they graduate high school – and 90% of them never report it. If we say this is a topic we can’t talk about, then what are we saying to the survivors? That they need to be quiet too?
Surrounding teens with happy images all the time doesn’t change the reality of what they see on the news and at school – a reality of No Means Maybe, of being scared to say no, of being ignored or bullied when she has the courage to report what happened.
I hope that more musicians will take it upon themselves to talk about these issues – they’re on a unique platform to talk to young people, and often they’re not much older than the teens who admire them. Instead of changing the video, let’s change reality. Rihanna’s character can re-shoot to a happy ending, but 33% of girls don’t have that option.
